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QUESTION: Should I Tell My Husband I Suspect Our 17-Year-Old Teenage Daughter Is Pregnant?
“I just recently found out that my 17-year-old teenage daughter is sexually active. This came as a huge surprise to me.
I talked with her about being safe and getting on birth control. After we talked, I got to thinking that she hasn’t had a period this month, and I don’t remember her having a period last month.
I don’t know if I should tell my husband about finding out about our teenage daughter and my suspicion about being her being pregnant.”
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Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“I would speak to her first before getting him worked up over an assumption. If she is pregnant it’s his right as her father to know but her being sexually active is inevitable and she just needs your support as to taking the proper safety measures.”
“Talk to your daughter first?”
“Why don’t you sit down and ask your teenage daughter first? Make a GYN appointment for her and go with her. I wouldn’t go running to your husband without at least attempting to talk to her.”
“Hi! Teenager here. Talk to your daughters first! And don’t make her feel embarrassed and DON’T make any decisions for her. If she isn’t pregnant, take her to Planned Parenthood. It easy, affordable, and a lot less embarrassing than a gyno.”
“You monitor her periods? Creepy. Give the girl some privacy and have enough respect to speak to her before assuming she’s pregnant and telling her father smh.”
“I would get her a pregnancy test before I said anything. If it’s negative, take her to get on birth control. If it’s positive, she’s gonna have to tell him.”
“I mean, a pregnancy test would be first on the list but I’m more curious to how the heck you know she’s missed her periods? If she hasn’t told you, that’s just weird.”
“Why make an assumption that she’s pregnant and run to tell him? I would talk to her first! Maybe make an appt now that you know she is active. Make her feel comfortable confiding in you. Running to tell your husband before speaking to her will not make her feel like she can trust you.”
“Maybe you should find out for sure before you scare the crap out of him.”
“Mom of 2 grown daughters (who I have a great relationship with). Talk to her and ask her, don’t be upset, it changes nothing. Dad does not need to know unless she is pregnant and if so you wait and tell when she feels comfortable doing it and have her back when she does. It is not the end of the world.”
“Her sexual life is still private, talk to her first before you tell the father. It could be the birth control.”
“I would personally talk to my teenage daughter first. If she is 17, she is almost an adult. If she is doing adult activities then she can talk to you about adult topics like sex. Approach her and mention that you took notice that she may not have had a couple period cycles and remind her that you are always there to talk with her. See where it goes before involving your husband if you don’t know for sure yet.”
“My mom thought I was pregnant at 17. She came in my room and yelled at me until I threw a box of tampons at her and told her i hadn’t used the pads she had been buying me for months. Don’t be like my mom.”
“As someone who got pregnant at 16 and had my first child at 17, I think you should talk to her first. Make an appointment to get her checked out. They will do a pregnancy test before prescribing any forms of birth control. Get the facts first then the two of you speak to him about it. But please do not get angry with her if she is. That only causes more fear and anxiety and will cause her not to talk to you when she has a problem…
… Please please please be patient and understanding. I was very fortunate that my family was very supportive, let me make MY decision about my pregnancy. My son is now 19 years old and I have no regrets about my choice. It’s ok to be disappointed. My family was but they never got angry at least if they were they kept it from me. Good luck.”
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