Since killing her two young children in 1994, Susan Smith has spent every Christmas in jail thinking about the two boys she was found guilty a murdering, according to a prison source who spoke exclusively with People.
“The holidays fill her with guilt and regret,” the source told the magazine. “She cries for her children every Christmas. She knows she did the most horrible thing imaginable, and it teras her up every day. She’s a tortured soul.”
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According to a source, Susan Smith cries for the two children she murdered more than 25 years ago.
According to the source, Smith keeps a photo of her two boys in her prison cell.
Smith is imprisoned at the Leath Correctional Institution in Greenwood, S.C. where she works as a wardkeeper’s assistant.
Smith initially reported that her sons had gone missing after she was carjacked by a black man. However, after more than a week of fruitless searching, Smith admitted that there wasn’t a carjacker and told police she had killed her sons, Michael, 3, and Alex, 14 months. She had let her car roll into a lake while the boys were strapped into their car seats.
Smith killed her children because she had been dating a man who didn’t want any, according to reports. She is currently serving life in prison and will be up for parole in 2024.
Smith’s time in prison has included self-mutilation, having sex with a prison guard and drug use, among other infractions, according to records reviewed by People. As a result of the infractions, she has lost privileges on a number of occasions.
Smith has always claimed that her actions haven’t been properly understood.
“Something went very wrong that night. I was not myself,” she told The State about the night she killed her boys. “I was a good mother and I loved my boys. There was no motive as it was not even a planned event. I was not in my right mind.”
The tragic loss has never left Smith, according to the prison source.
“She doesn’t talk about her boys much, but when she does, it’s always with a lot of sadness. She doesn’t expect anyone to forgive her, and she doesn’t look for pity,” the source told People. She’s still in mourning – and she’ll never stop mourning for the rest of her life.”