A mom writes in asking for advice about her teenage son. She says her son, 15, recently revealed to her that he is dating an almost-18-year-old girl. This mom is potentially concerned about the age difference while also feeling “happy” that her son felt comfortable enough to tell her. She feels like she should at least meet this girl, but she is otherwise looking for advice about how to handle the situation.
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A member of the community asks:
“My son came to me about seeing someone a few years older than him: Advice?
My 15-year-old son recently came to me and told me he was dating a soon-to-be 18-year-old girl. I do not know how I feel about the age difference but at the same time, I am just happy he felt comfortable enough to come to me and tell me. How should I go about this? I know nothing about this girl but I think I should meet her.”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Who Is Concerned About Her 15-Year-Old Son Dating an 18-Year-Old
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“It’s just strange to me that an 18-year-old girl would be interested in a 15-year-old boy. Really, what does he have to offer her? What is she looking for in a relationship with a 15-year-old? I know it happens but I wouldn’t encourage it.”
“It’s only 2 years if she’s 17. I would be ok with it, especially because he came to be about it first.”
“Would you all be saying the same if it was an 18-year-old lad going with yer 15-year-old girl?”
“Everyone is so hung up on age. You need to meet her and feel everything out. Then discuss everything as far as when she turns 18 with your son. My husband was 18 when i was 16. So why would it be so vile if the girl was 18?”
“As long as the youngest person is 16 at least there is allowed to be a four year age difference in my state. You can’t base any judgment off of age! Maybe try incorporating her into a family function and not come on too strong. It’s hard to do as a mom and we forget!”
“I allowed my daughter to date an older boy. Her 16 and him 20. She does not like boys her age. He was good to her and helped me a lot. But in the end, we had charges placed on us for contributing to the delinquency of a minor and I can’t remember what the other was. So you are better off to stop this.”
“A lot of people saying don’t let them date… but if I remember correctly when I was young I didn’t listen at all when told something like that. If anything telling him not to see her will just make him still see her, hide it more and not come to you with future potential problems. He came to you first and foremost… That’s amazing! Definitely check your state laws and inform them of those laws but I highly doubt doing anything else would help in this case. Just my opinion.”
“I think a step in the right direction would be to thank him for being so open and honest and then talk about how it could be potentially illegal for him and her to have any type of relationship outside of friendship. Then lastly I would have the protection talk.”
“Be careful of the laws. If it’s illegal all it takes is a bad break up and it’s a trip to jail.”
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