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QUESTION: Am I Selfish to Bring a Child Into the World Alone?
“I am 33 and going through my first pregnancy. My partner and I never dated or had anything serious, we were just friends, and now we have a baby on the way.
He’s expressed how he’s scared and doesn’t feel ready and even asked if he could pay me to explore other options. I have already decided to go through with this pregnancy, but now I’m wondering, am I selfish or a bad partner because I’m bringing a child into this world knowing that we won’t be a family?
I know things will be tough, but I have a strong support system and believe I can do this. Any advice would be appreciated.”
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Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“You are this baby’s family. Don’t ever let a man make you feel guilty over a decision you make about your body. Neither of my kids was raised by their dads. Both were abandoned before their births. But we’re over here killing this family thing. Stay strong, you got this!”
“Some children are brought into perfect conditions and treated horribly. You are ready to love a child and you have a support system that will love your child too. Love, care, and education are all a child needs.”
“If YOU want the baby and can provide a safe and loving environment, go for it. Plenty of people grow up with one parent, grandparents, aunt/uncle. A traditional two parent family is not the only way. As long as baby is loved and taken care of, that’s all that matters.”
“No one is ready to be a parent!!!! You learn as you go. It’s full of ups and downs. If you want that baby you keep it. You are that babies family. It’s a love you never knew you could feel. You are no way selfish or a bad partner!!!! It’s hard to be a single parent, or just parent alone but not impossible. You will grow as a person with that baby!! Good luck!!”
“Babies are miracles from the good Lord, you take that baby and raise it because now you do have a family and it depends on you to love it and raise it right… You are gonna be just fine.”
“If I can do it at 16, you can at 33. Just keep your head up, it will be hard and challenging but God choose you in this exact moment for a reason. Be the best Mother you can be show this kid all the love and support you have and you’ll get through it, time will fly by and you’ll look back and wonder what you were so scared of.”
“Not selfish at all. Babies are blessings and God doesn’t make mistakes. This sweet soul has a purpose and so do you. God chose you to be their mom. I had my 1st child at 17 when I was a senior and I did it without a partner. She is now about to turn 17 in 3 weeks and she has been a true blessing. Im now married with a 1 year old boy who is my miracle baby. Go for it mama. You can 100% do it.”
“Absolutely not. That baby is created either way,it deserves to be born and loved. It’s selfish to ask you to terminate your pregnancy. Even if you have to do it on your own, that baby will have your love. You are it’s family, and that’s all you need”
“I’ve raised twin boys by myself since day one. They’re 15 now and they’re both amazing young men… Being a single mom is a little harder of course, but definitely something you can handle and definitely worth it. You’ll be fine and your baby will be too… Congratulations!”
“You absolutely can do this!!! You can be mommy n daddy. Lots of women do this everyday. Just stand strong and be the very best you can be for your sweet baby!!!”
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