Legendary Actress Regina King Talks About Her Only Child’s Tragic Passing: I ‘Respect and Understand’ His Choice
Sara Vallone
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Regina King is speaking out for the first time following her son’s tragic passing.
As Mamas Uncut previously reported last year, Ian Alexander died by suicide on his 26th birthday in January 2022. And now, more than two years later, the iconic actress is speaking on the grief she has lived through.
What she’s endured over the last two years, Regina told GMA’s Robin Roberts has left her “a different person.” Ian was Regina’s only child.
“Grief is a journey, you know. I understand that grief is love that has no place to go,” she said. “I know that it’s important to me to honor Ian in the totality of who he is, speak about him in the present, because he is always with me and the joy and happiness that he gave all of us.”
But despite her understanding of grief and frankly, her understanding of why Ian left this world so soon, Regina admits her son’s death left her “so angry with God.”
“Why would that weight be given to Ian? Of all of the things that we had gone through — therapy, psychiatrists, programs — and Ian was like, ‘I’m tired of talking, Mom,’” she told Roberts.
“Sometimes, a lot of guilt comes over me. When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, ‘What could I have done so that wouldn’t have happened?’ I know that I share this grief with everyone, but no one else is Ian’s mom, you know? Only me. So it’s mine. And the sadness will never go away. It will always be with me.”
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Regina admits that she “respects and understands” her son’s decision, but wishes she had to “time to just sit with Ian’s choice.”
“When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way — they expect it to look heavy,” King explained. “To have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian’s choice, which I respect and understand … He didn’t want to be here anymore, and that’s a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian’s journey.”
Oscar-Winning Actress Regina King ‘Devastated’ Over Her 26-Year-Old Son’s Tragic Passing
In a statement issued by her representative, Oscar-winning actress Regina King says she is devastated by the loss of her 26-year-old son. During her impressive career, one of King’s biggest accomplishments was being a mother to her son Ian Alexander Jr.
King was a single mother for most of Ian’s life. But together, they managed and King loved her son very much.
In a past interview with CNN, King said, “I get emotional because my son is an amazing young man, and it took me to be a mother for me to realize how incredible of a woman [my mother] is. You don’t know what unconditional love is. You may say you do, but if you don’t have a child, you don’t know what that is. But when you experience it, it is the most fulfilling ever. So, that is the greatest part about me. Being a mom to Ian.”
Oscar-Winning Actress Regina King ‘Devastated’ Over Her 26-Year-Old Son’s Tragic Passing
Sadly, after taking his own life, King remembered how bright he was. “Our family is devastated at the deepest level by the loss of Ian. He is such a bright light who cared so deeply about the happiness of others.”
“Our family asks for respectful consideration during this private time.” Ian loved performing like his mother but through music.
As NBC News reports, Ian was a musician and DJ who performed under the stage name Desduné. He released his most recent single on January 7, called Green Eyes.
Ian’s love for his mom was just as strong as her love was for him. On King’s 50th birthday, Ian wrote how proud he was to be her son.
“Happy birthday to my co, so extremely proud of you and inspired by your love, artistry, and gangsta! To be able to watch you take this lifetime by its neck and make it yours is something I will forever be grateful for. But to have you as my mother is the greatest gift I could ask for. To be all that you are while always having the time to be there, love, and support me unconditionally is truly remarkable. The whole marvel universe ain’t got sh*t on you, you’re the real superhero! Love you, mom! This day and every day YO DAY!!”
As Regina King has said in the past, her decision to try to give Ian a normal life is what ultimately gave her her television career.
“I was kind of at a crossroads in my career where I was realizing that to continue on in the movie industry, I was going to have to start taking roles that shot outside of Los Angeles. I did not want to home-school my son,” King told She Knows. “I didn’t want to have to leave him at home and miss out on all those little milestones and triumphs that happen in a growing child’s life. So I made the decision to not take any jobs that were going to be shooting outside of LA, and that’s how my TV career started. The answer is making most of the time, making the tough choice leads you down a beautiful path.”
Ian was preparing to perform at a Hollywood establishment known as Bardot on January 28. “It’s been a minute but now we back at the jump-off,” he wrote. “Don’t you want to say you supported desduné before the blowup?”
Three days ago, King commented on her son’s post, writing, “Swag.” Heartbreakingly, the comments that followed were ones of friends and fans mourning his death.
Our thoughts and prayers are with Regina King and their family. If you or someone you know is dealing with depression and thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.
