My Husband of 11 Years Added a Password to His Phone After Trust Issues: Advice?

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QUESTION: Should You Know Your Partner’s Phone Password?

“How does everyone feel about passwords on your partner’s phone?

I have been with my husband for 11 years, and we have had issues where I have found things in his phone, so he put a password on his phone, so I can’t get into it!

And when I ask to see his phone, he tells me I don’t need to look at his phone? Anyone else go through this?”

RELATED: I Recently Found Something Very Disturbing on My Child’s Phone, Which Is Linked to Her Father’s Email Account: What Should I Do?

Community Answers

The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

“Yeah… that’s a hell no. My husband and myself do not have passwords on our phones and we can go through each other’s phones if we ever wanted… we don’t because we have no need too, but if one of us needs to make a call, or look something up quick we use each other’s phones.”

“Well, sweetheart, I can GUARANTEE he’s not PROTECTING his grandmother’s family recipes!”

“Sorry, that’s a red flag to me honestly. We know each other’s passwords. We don’t go in each other’s phones unless we need to use them, but we never have a reason to tell each other no. i’d say if he’s getting upset and won’t let you go on his phone ever that there’s probably something he’s hiding.”

“I don’t know, I feel differently. I don’t go through his stuff and he doesn’t go through my stuff. Everything else in our lives is out in the open, I don’t see why I have to snoop through his stuff and him through mine. I have conversations on my phone from my friends that are private conversations and I don’t want him to read them. And these are female friends. Sometimes I feel like we need to have our own private things.”

“I know my husband’s. I don’t even have a lock on my phone. It shouldn’t be a big deal unless there is something he is hiding from you. I’d say its a red flag.”

“My husband and I remind me of a really old couple. We literally use the same passwords because we forget them too easily and it feels like a lifetime retrieving the password. We’ve had the same passwords for over 8 years now. But if he’s that uncomfortable in my opinion seems a little sketchy.”

“We both have passwords, but it’s to keep the kids out of our phones. We know each other’s passwords and have exchanged phones before, although not on purpose. He grabbed my phone before work because we have the same phone, but neither of us were worried. If you can’t trust your partner with as little as their phone their no real trust at all.”

“If you already found stuff on his phone and he put a password on it to keep you out you already know what’s going on.”

“We got passwords because we have nosy kids, but he knows mine and I know his. I think I’d be kind of disturbed if he said I didn’t “need” to look at his phone.”

“That seems like a red flag to me. My husband and I have basically the same password and the only reason for the password is to keep the kids out of the phones. We frequently answer each other’s phones (calls, texts, messages, etc.) Whoever has their hands free or is closer to the phone answers.”

“I’m sorry but that is a big red flag. My partner has a password on his phone but I know it and I can go thru it anytime. I do not have a password but I have in the past and he has always know it and can go thru my phone whenever. If your partner isn’t letting you then he is most likely hiding something.”

“My spouse and I use each other’s phones and if there’s ever been a password on one of them, the other person is told what the password is the moment it’s set up. We’ve both been used and cheated on plenty in the past so we take that stuff seriously and I would absolutely not be okay with the situation you described. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that.”

“I’ve been with my SO for 17 years and we both have passwords and we both know them. We don’t hide anything from each other. I would never look in his phone though because if I felt I needed to then we would have a problem.”

“I’m not gonna say he’s cheating, but without a doubt he’s hiding something(s) you wouldn’t like on his phone. (P*rn, talking to someone he doesn’t want you to know about, saying things he doesn’t want you to see) A person WILL NOT hide their phone from someone for no reason.”

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