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QUESTION:
“My partner and I are arguing about disciplining our two years old. He’s a mischievous little boy who is into everything and climbing everywhere. I’m mainly the sole parent as OH works away all week, but DS hit the tv, and I was telling his dad that, and his dad says we need to start spanking him. I would never physically punish my child; I think there are other things we could try before even considering that I won’t even entertain the idea, now OH is saying,“well, when you’re in court because DS has hurt himself because he wouldn’t listen you’ll be saying different” Has anyone else argued about discipline? Am I wrong to make my house a no hitting zone? I just think if my two years old sees his parents hitting, he’s going to think it’s okay… And I don’t want a violent house. Am I wrong?”
Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“You are not wrong. It’s not okay to hit children. Make your husband read all the studies done by professionals that talk about how harmful spanking can be. You need to set rules, use positive reinforcement, COMMUNICATE and explain things to your kid, timeouts/loss of privileges when needed. Have lots of patience and remember he is still really young. Consistency is key.”
“I completely agree with the no spanking. My two year old was having a hitting problem and obviously we were trying to teach her no its not okay. So spanking would just teach her violence is okay. I do two warnings then naughty chair there after. I was advised if naughty chair didn’t work after three attempts then put them in there room and explain why, but stay sitting at the door. Also 1 minute time out for each year. So my 2 year old get 2 minute time out and my 7 year old gets 7 minutes. Just make sure to explain to them why they are in time out. Once they are out of time out remind them that you love them and give them a cuddle.”
“I would just tell him, we don’t want him hitting others so why would we hate him? That’s just showing him it’s okay to hit others if his parents are hitting him you aren’t setting a very good example by hitting your child. They’re learning and you don’t want them to be scared to make mistakes other wise they’ll be hit. It is both of your child’s but there’s other ways to teach your child right from wrong and hitting isn’t one of them.”
“I have 5 children. I don’t agree on spanking or hitting a child in any shape or form. We as parents are their protectors and help guide them. There are other ways of doing it.”
“He is 2. He is supposed to be mischievous and getting into things. Thats how kids figure stuff out. It isn’t as though he is 6 or 7 and has a better idea. He is just figuring it out. Spanking a 2 year old for getting into everything to me is wrong.”
“He is a toddler … terrible twos is an actual thing …spanking him will make him scared and teach him it is ok to do this – therefore he will start to hit.”
“My son was being smacked by his grandfather without me knowing while he was at their house. He’s not seen him since and won’t be again either. Hitting a child is cruel, I don’t care if they’ve been badly behaved it never ever warrants being scared of their caregiver. My son’s had to have therapy, he’s been aggressive, sad, and actually flinches if I go to cuddle him now. It does so much more damage than teaching them a lesson. It literally just teaches them to be scared of their parent/carer and gives them massive trust issues, also teaching violence too and I’m still shocked it’s allowed at all! You’re right on this one, your partner needs to rethink this one!”
“Every child is different, which means that discipline wise what works for one may not work for another.”
“He is 2. Redirect him. Just to let you know that’s what a 2 year old does.”
“You’re right. Have your partner do his research. Have him read a book on the affects of hitting. Maybe consult with a child psychologist.”
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