A mom writes in because she is having trouble with the school regarding her son not taking medication for his ADHD. Her ex-husband does not want their son on medication so they are trying natural methods that seem to be working some.
A Community Member asks:
“I need some help, guys. So my son has ADHD, but my ex-husband that I share 50/50 custody with does not want our son on medicine. It’s very aggravating to me, but I’m not willing to start a war with my ex over medication. So I have started trying him on natural things to help him focus better. It’s been helping a little bit. He went from making really bad grades on his spelling tests to making even a few ????. He hasn’t failed a spelling test in a few weeks now, but oh my goodness, the principal and vice-principal are constantly on my toes about ADHD medicine.
When I tell them about the natural stuff I’m giving him, they have nothing to say, all they want is for him to be on ADHD medicine from a doctor. I understand it’s a small school, and they want to look as good as possible, but it is not their place to tell me that I need to stop letting my ex walk on me and need to get a lawyer, blah blah blah. They have said way too much that is out of place and none of their business. My question is, how do I get these people to understand that I am not going to start problems between me and my ex, especially considering how far we have come on getting along, especially considering my son is making progress.
I don’t want the drama, but I don’t want to be getting treated like a child myself. I hate drama, but what is being done to me shouldn’t be getting done, and I know that. My son is only 8. He’s been at other schools, and no other school has treated me like this, but I kind of sit back, let them talk, and somewhat agree just for the simple fact I do not want my son to be targeted more than he already is. I don’t know what to do. I need them to shut up so how do I do that without coming off as a big b**** because I swear when I hit my breaking point, it’s silence in the room because I let it all out and I don’t need to be that person where my kids attend school at lol.“
Community Advice for the Mom Whose Son Has ADHD and Her Ex Doesn’t Want Him On Medication
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
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Advice Summary
The community members agreed that you should stand firm on your decision. You can read some of these responses below.
“Report them to the school board. They aren’t allowed to force anything on you like that. When I set up a 504 plan for my son at his school, they told me they are not allowed to suggest medications, that it was my choice as his parent to do what I thought was best for him.“
“They have way too high of expectations for children. I completely understand there are many children that actually have ADHD but how much is misdiagnosed? Unhealthy diets with to much sugar, not enough activity. Sitting at a desk for 6 hours. I’d be bouncing off the walls too and not be able to concentrate. The expectations are crazy. I don’t blame you and your ex for wanting to try natural ways before going to extreme and medicating.”
“Tell them that you’re not putting him on medicine to stop asking you to, cause it isn’t gonna happen and you’re headstrong on it if they keep it up tell them you do not believe in medicine period and they’re wasting your time they only have him a few hours with him tell them to deal with it or tell them to educate their teachers to learn how to deal with it.”
“Get an IEP plan put in place for ways to help with his ADHD. You don’t have to medicate. My son refused to take medication and since it wasn’t life or death I didn’t force it. I worked with his teachers and we put other plans in place.”
“Tell the ex-husband the school officials are trying to force meds on you and after repeated attempts to persuade you that you’re done dealing with them and it’s his turn. Cut him loose on the school board and meanwhile start looking into other local schools“
“I would do all other ways before medicating. But if all other ways don’t work I’d medicate. The school needs to hush and instead offer a good evaluator.”
Final Thoughts
My thoughts were immediate that if you are able to help your son without medication at this time, then that is what you should do, and if the natural stuff works then stick with that. The purpose of medication is to help them while they can’t help themselves. Eventually, they will learn the skills needed to manage themselves without any help from medication. But even if medication is needed at some point, it is just nice not to hold off as long as possible.
I liked the advice to tell your ex-husband to talk with the school so that maybe they will take it from him better than you. For some reason, men can get better results than women when it comes to dealing with people. If it still doesn’t work you might try to contact the school board or more drastically change your son to a different school. Changing schools is a much bigger deal but I am sure you can get them to work with you.
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