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QUESTION: Would You Be Comfortable With Your Boyfriend Working At A Strip Club?
“I’m 20 weeks pregnant, and my boyfriend wants to do security at a strip club which I’m not comfortable with. I’ve tried helping him find other security jobs, but he is just persistent on the strip club. My feelings are hurt. I’m to the point where I can’t sleep; I’m always stressed …. I can’t eat …. I’m making myself sick …not only because of the situation but also because my boyfriend says that I make him miserable. I’m the reason my boyfriend has no friends. He says he never wants to be around me. He calls me weak-minded.
On Mother’s Day, he threw flowers at me and called me bad names and on Valentine’s Day I got nothing, not even a ‘happy Valentine’s day.’ He tells me if I don’t like him working at a strip club then I should leave our home. I pay the majority of the bills. I love him and don’t know what to do. I went to my doctor’s appointment yesterday, and I’m always having blood pressure issues linked to stress. He always goes through my phone, but I’m not allowed to touch his. He says that’s just how he is. My boyfriend has moved people in on us and was out for hours supposed to getting me food because I waited and waited while we were making excuses saying the police and the line were long, but the whole time he was just chilling with this dude at his friend’s house. Would you feel comfortable if your significant other was working at a strip club?”
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Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“Bottom line, if you are uncomfortable with something then it isn’t okay. Every person is different, and every relationship is different. I hate seeing women feel like something isn’t okay and feeling like they need validation for feeling that way. Whatever your feelings are, they are valid.”
“I wouldn’t have a problem with it. I trust my husband and know who he’s coming home too. He’s never given me a reason to question his motives. If he’s not nice to you and treats you like crap, the strip club is the least of your worries.”
“His place of employment isn’t an issue, but everything else you said here definitely is. I’d run far away from that man if I was you.”
“Ok so to answer the beginning and the end of this. Yes, I would be ok with my fiance working security at a strip club, because I trust him.
To answer the middle of this… Leave. You and your baby will be so much happier without him”
“To simply answer your question… no, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that. There are plenty of other jobs that require security. On another note, leave. Leave this relationship and never look back. You and your baby deserve so much more than this.”
“I think the main concern is the fact that he is treating you the way he does.. You can’t change how he is ..He has to do that … And honestly he sounds extremely selfish and immature… Go get yourself a real Man to show you what love is..Best wishes!”
“No ma’am you don’t need him in your life. Girl you’re pregnant so he should be helpful not stressing you out. You deserve better than him. Remember that you have a baby coming into the world soon. Do you want him around the baby?? He could harm the baby. Get away. And forget him. Your baby will thank you one day.. you both deserve to be treated much better. So demand respect or send him packing.. praying for you.”
“That kind of job/relationship only works if there is mutual trust and respect. You don’t trust him and he doesn’t respect you. Probably time to cut your losses and move on. Find someone that considers your feelings and that you trust.”
“The strip club is the least of the problems. He doesn’t sound like a very caring or compassionate partner. Being pregnant is hard & scary, so I totally understand wanting your relationship to work. But this doesn’t sound healthy. Good luck Momma.”
“He’ll make more money at the club… I used to work at a club… those girls don’t care about the staff there… they are there for money…. the dancers usually tip the security guys at the end of their shift (it is usually apart of their tip out requirement)…. it’s good money.”
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