A mom writes in asking for advice. Her parents want to take custody of her son because she wants to get back together with her fiancé. They are having problems, but she wants to work on them and fix her relationship with her fiancé. Because of their previous problems, her parents threatened her to get custody of her son. She doesn’t know what to do anymore. Any advice for this mom?
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A member of the community asks:
“I’m 33 weeks pregnant and was having problems with my fiancé. He drinks and comes home to yell at me and treats me bad sometimes. I have a 5-year-old, so I left and went to stay with my parents. I told them this morning I wanted to work on my relationship and see if maybe we can fix it. They flipped out saying if I leave they will disown me and take me to court with my previous son to get custody because I went back.
I’m under so much stress and caught in the middle of everyone. My fiancè swears he will work on himself but my mom who I’m close to said she won’t even come to my sprinkle and take my son. I’m under so much stress due to this being my rainbow baby and a rough pregnancy. I’m so lost and depressed and don’t have anyone to turn to. Any suggestions, please no bashing I’m already beyond upset and being hard on myself.”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Stressed and Worried
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
Lots of advice for this mom told her to leave her relationship. One said, ” If your so-called fiance is abusive, I would definitely not return to him. I think your mother is worried that domestic violence will turn into a murder and she’s worried. I would not have my children in that situation.” Another commenter suggested, “Seek advice from doctor see what he suggests.”
One commenter gave great suggestions for this mom whose parents want to take custody of her son due to an abusive fiance. She shared, “He will tell you he will fix himself. He might threaten that he will commit suicide and he may also threaten you. He may try to make you feel like it is your fault. None of these things should sway you.” She continues, “Adults have choices, but it’s the children who live with the consequences. Do what is right to protect your kids. If he was serious about doing better, he would be in rehab already.”
Some shared similar experiences. One commented, “Be smart. Stay away from him. He won’t quit drinking. I have experience with this. The abuse will continue and will spill over to your children. Let him fix himself while you are apart if he truly wants to be with you and be sober then he needs to prove it to you without putting you and your kids in the crossfire.” Another agreed, “I went through the same literally just months ago. He didn’t change. He acted as if he did. I lost my family because of it and then left an abusive situation to be on my own trying to figure it out and raise my daughter alone. Stay with your parents.”
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