A mom writes in asking for advice. Her ex wants to sign over his rights to their child. She is considering it but wants to know the pros and cons before she makes her decision. She knows if he does, he won’t have to pay child support; however, she likes the idea of not answering or talking things through on every decision anymore. Any advice for this mom?
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A member of the community asks:
“I have a big debate going on in my head that I could use advice on. The father of my child has offered to sign over full custody to me once our son is born. But he still will be in our son’s life on a regular basis. He’s the one that brought this up not me. I would never ask him to do that because I would never keep my son from his dad. We broke up right before I found out I was prefab that’s but it was on okay terms. It was better off letting our son have two separate happy homes, but he said he’s okay with giving me full custody.
My debate in my head is all about the pros and cons of it. I know once I do it that he will no longer be responsible for child support, which is why I’m pretty sure he wants to do it. But I also know there are a lot of positives to it as well like not having to ask for permission when I want to take him places, and we don’t ever have to worry about going back and forth to court over things. Advice?”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Curious About Custody Benefits
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
Many gave helpful advice for this mom wondering if she should allow her ex to sign over his rights of their son. One said, “If you can talk with an attorney about the differences between having full custody and having full parental rights.” Another advised, “You better check your state’s laws. A lot of states will not let someone voluntarily sign their rights away without a second adult to replace them.”
Some commenters felt like he was trying to avoid being financially responsible, which is not okay. One shared, “He can sign over his rights and not see his kid. or he can support his kid. I mean. he just doesn’t want to be financially responsible, which is not okay.” One suggested, “Have him give you full custody, but do not have him sign his rights over. It will cause your son more problems than it would do him good if he signed away all his rights.”
Other commenters told this mom that letting him sign over his rights is better in the end. One shared, “Absolutely let him go! If that’s how he feels then it’s better than all the trouble he may cause.” Another agreed, “If any man ever flat out asked me if he could sign over rights, I’d say yes. It just means that they more than likely don’t plan on being around forever.”
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