A mom writes in asking for advice. Her ex abused her and she cannot escape him. She barely was able to leave him, but he always finds a way to come back and try to attack her. She is married and she can’t leave the state because her spouse has custody of his kids. Her family and friends stayed friends with her ex despite it all. She does not know what to do anymore. Any advice for this mom?
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A member of the community asks:
“My ex-fiance abused me in every way you can think of, and I barely escaped him with my life. After I left him, he tried to run me over and stab me. He tried to ruin my life. My life became a nightmare. He still tries to add me on social media, talks about me in comments to everybody. Everywhere I go he seems to pop up, and because of my current spouse’s custody situation, we can’t leave this state. He doesn’t want to leave his children, he keeps them every week.
What bothers me, though, is all of my family and friends, everybody I know, stayed friends with this man. It hurts me to see it. They know what he did. Some of them saw the physical abuse happen, and they still stay friends with him. If I cut off everybody who’s friends with him, I’d have nobody except my husband left. I don’t understand how a man can rape and torture a woman, and everybody is okay with it! Has anybody else been through this?”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Hurting and All Alone
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
Most of the advice for this mom was supportive of her. Many felt that even though her ex abused her and she still can’t escape from him, there were things she could do to help. One suggested, “Cutting them all off sometimes is better for you in the long run! I agree with going to a support group but definitely change your surroundings. It’s not a coincidence he is popping up, he has people in his corner that are also in yours and it’s best to cut ties with anyone who associates with him!”
Some offered support and encouragement. One shared, “That’s horrible, but it sounds like you’re taking all the right steps, good luck!” Another said, “All you need is your man, especially if he is the one and treats you way better, friends come and go. You’ll find friends one day that will value you and who do care about you.” One commented, “Sounds like you’re getting healthy. Problem is; sounds like they are not. It’s hard, but, I’d cut them loose.”
Others offered suggestions. One said, “Go to a shelter for abused women. They will help you there.” Another advised, “Make new friends and get a restraining order if necessary.” Another commenter agreed, “Document everything and get pictures. Petition the court for a strict protective order.” Many other commenters agreed that she needed to go to the cops.
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