A mom writes in asking for advice about a baby name. She says her husband is dead-set on naming their son in the family tradition, but this mom is not a fan. She agreed to do it a long time ago, but now she is worried she may actually have to go with it if they end up having a boy. She thinks this name is confusing and would rather choose a new name that they’re both okay with, but he seems pretty firmly set on the name if their baby is, in fact, a boy. Should she push for more of a compromise or let him have his way?
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A member of the community asks:
“My husband and I cannot come to an agreement about our child’s name: Advice?
My hubby and I are due for our 3rd kiddo in January. We have decided to wait until the baby is born to find out what it is. My problem is if we have a boy, he wants to keep his family tradition, and the baby would be the 4th. We had already had this talk before, and yes, I had already agreed to it years ago. Thankfully, we have two girls lol. If you cant tell, I really don’t like his name lol. His family calls him ‘Buddy’ because there are already two others with his name.
This morning, I brought up the fact that I would like our future son to have his own identity. He has problems with his mail going to his parent’s or grandparents’ house, and he gets his dad’s mail. Anyways, I asked him if we could compromise and use his name as our potential son’s middle name. I asked him to think of some different first names. He texted me after he left for work, and said he would not think of other names if we have a son because he thinks it would be ‘awesome'”
It was hard for me to even say anything because I have known this is what he wanted. I was crying because I knew he would be upset. If he isn’t willing to compromise, what do I do? Name my child a name I can’t stand? Just to have to think of some nickname for him, so nobody on his side of the family gets confused? We have a first name for a girl that we agreed on. Why cant our son’s name be an agreement? Is it best I just bite my tongue and name our child what he wants?”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Who Disagrees with Her Husband’s Choice of Baby Name
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“My husband wanted to name our son TOOTHA. (wtf?) I wanted to name him Grayson. We compromised. His name is Grayson.”
“My first son was named after his father. My second son was named after my father. I call both of mine ‘hey, stop it!’ or ‘quit that.’ It works lmao.”
“If you do not like the name, do NOT name your child it. He nor you can just name the child what you want. You have to come to a compromise. It is NOT selfish to change your mind or not follow his family’s tradition.”
“I think your husband has his heart set on it. He wants to carry on tradition and it means a lot to him. If I were in your shoes, I would let him have that.”
“You probably shouldn’t have agreed to it in the first place if you didn’t like it. A son carrying his father’s name means a lot to a father and to a whole family too. I mean if I was you I would let your son carry his father’s name especially if it might be the only son he will have.”
“You’re the one going through pregnancy and then giving birth. Whatever name YOU choose should be the final decision. His only contribution to the development of the child was ejac******. Not a whole lot of work for him until after the baby is born lol.”
“Is everyone forgetting the kids already get Dad’s last name to ‘carry on the family name’? I think having it as the middle name is a good compromise. I think you’ll be sorry if you name your child something you really don’t like. Or as someone mentioned, I guess, you could give him the name but call him by his middle name. I personally believe this is selfish on Dad’s part, knowing how much you dislike the name. It’s a child you BOTH are bringing into the world. Need to come up with something you BOTH agree upon. Remind him he gets the last name, for ALL of your children. And if a boy, he’ll get to carry the name on.”
“Sounds like you already agreed to me. He’s your husband and it would probably break his heart. Shame on those of you saying he doesn’t have a say because she signs the papers. Y’all sound bitter af. That’s not how a family does things.”
“I would never name a child after the father especially if there are 3 others. A child should have his own name. Honestly, you are keeping him from being his own person by naming him a 4th. Also, the mother fills out the birth certificate. You will have carried this baby for 9 months, you should be able to veto any name, period. You may have agreed to it in the past, but it doesn’t mean you have to stick with it.”
“Remind him that all your kids get his last name (I’m assuming?) And that in itself is passing down a legacy. It’s very important that both parents are 100% happy with what they name their child.”
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