A woman writes in asking for advice about her husband. She says they no longer have a sex life. Instead, her husband can be found most days watching adult movies on the internet and taking care of things himself. Though this woman doesn’t have a problem with the idea of adult movies or her husband watching them in general, she is a bit hurt that he chooses to watch them but not be with her. It has. left her feeling ignored and “not good enough.” Advice for her?
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A member of the community asks:
“My husband and I have no sex life but he watches adult movies: Thoughts?
What do you do when you and your significant other have no sex life, yet he’s always on adult sites (playboy sites) and pleasing himself. I get that all men do it, well most. I get it’s natural. The only reason it bothers me is it makes me feel ignored or that I’m not good enough, and I don’t turn him on.”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Woman Who Has No Love Life with Her Husband, Who Only Watches Adult Movies
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this woman in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this woman in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“You need to voice to him that you are a rational woman who doesn’t mind p*** but as long as there’s that sex life between the two of you as well. Ask if there’s anything you two can do to make it spicier? But don’t feel like you are to blame if he is bored it is not your fault and p*** is an unrealistic and unhealthy standard for sex.”
“I don’t think it is normal at all. P*** is terrible and ruins marriages all the time. It should be avoided. I definitely wouldn’t start watching it yourself. Communication is huge. You should both definitely sit down and discuss the underlying issue.”
“Girl, I just went through this. He also had an addiction, it doesn’t stop. No matter what I did, it was never enough. I did everything every man would dream of and he wouldn’t bat an eye at me. Just get out…. save yourself heartache, just get OUT. It is not going to stop, even when he swears up and down he did. He’s still doing it. You’ll find better, I promise, and you’ll find someone who’ll make your bed rock.”
“If he is watching p*** yet ignoring you it is an issue!”
“Not normal or acceptable, sorry I wouldn’t be with my husband if he did this… how can people say it normal? Guys being guys? Hell no, it’s not !!!! It’s a crude addiction and doesn’t belong in a marriage!”
“Communication. Figure out why you have no sex life, and what each of you want/expect. I hate when men use “well all men do it”. Because they all don’t.”
“Not normal, and disrespectful to all women.”
“When my husband is distant sexually, it usually means I haven’t been ‘trying hard enough’ so to speak. Basically he gets tired of being the one to always initiate. He wants me to be spontaneous and go for it sometimes. He wants ME to display that I’m sexually attracted to him (as we expect men to act towards us). He wants to feel exactly what we want to feel, and if you’re not putting in your work, he won’t either.”
“Ummm no that’s not ok. Watching it is cool… pleasuring himself is normal… but completely leaving you out of those scenarios is not!!”
“More communication? Some studies suggest that porn can actually harm sexual relations if it is watched in excess. Maybe express how you feel to him, if he is in the relationship as much as you are he will be willing to try and find ways the two of you can make it work. It’s an awful assumption but they also say if you are being ignored sexually his attention could be elsewhere. Hope it goes well for you.”
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