A grandma writes in asking for advice about her grandson, who needs glasses. She says her 3-year-old grandson needs glasses, but that his father — this grandma’s son-in-law — refuses to let him get glasses. She adds that this is not necessarily about vanity; her son-in-law worries that his son will be bullied for wearing glasses as he gets older. But the fact of the matter is, his son, who has been diagnosed as far-sighted, probably needs them.
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A member of the community asks:
“My grandson needs glasses but his dad is against it: Advice?”
“Just learned my 3-year-old grandson is significantly far-sighted and will need glasses. My son-in-law is very upset to the point he says he won’t have his son wearing glasses. For him, it goes beyond vanity. He is convinced his son will be bullied.
We would have never known he needed glasses by his behavior or actions. He can name a lot of dinosaurs — even obscure ones — and tons of Pokémon. He’s exposed to these through a TV that is high on the wall. He has not been able to learn colors, numbers, or letters because his exposure to these is on an iPad. My daughter works for an optometrist. She likely wouldn’t have considered having him tested otherwise. What have others experienced? Will my bright, outgoing grandson be bullied? And will this impact him negatively?”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Grandma Whose Grandson Can’t Get the Glasses He Needs Because His Father Refuses
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Forget wondering if he’ll be bullied by his peers because he’s already being bullied by an insecure neglectful father. I can’t imagine being more worried about my child’s vanity than their wellbeing. This child needs the glasses or it’s going to affect him negatively later on.”
“It’s going to impact him negatively if he doesn’t get the eye care he needs! If he needs them then he should get them.”
“My daughter has had glasses for 2 years now. We have had no issues. Her glasses change colors so her friends think they are super cool. It’s pretty sad that a father cares more about image than a child learning properly.”
“He’s currently being bullied by a father who doesn’t want to have his vision corrected, and that sounds like a case of ‘abuse/neglect.’ If a parent denied a child medical treatment for a disease or other ailment child services (rightfully) would be called against them. In my opinion, this warrants a call to child services. If the child has trouble seeing, it will affect his ability to learn.”
“The child needs glasses. Not getting them for him borders on abuse. If he’s farsighted he can’t see close up which means learning letters and numbers, drawing and coloring, and fine motor skills will be affected. Ask his father if he’d rather have a child labeled with a learning disability because that’s what will happen.”
“My son started wearing glasses at 3 years old. He goes to preschool and his friends think his glasses are so cool! Don’t make the child suffer because dad has issues! Teach him to be confident and love himself, and then if there are bullies in his future, it doesn’t phase him!”
“So are we teaching our kids that even if you NEED something you can’t have it because someone might make fun of you??? Dad needs a reality check. He could cause his poor son to go blind out of selfishness. He won’t be picked on, and if he is, teach him to ignore it. A 3-year-old can’t wear contacts.”
“Father is the real bully! Sound like narcissistic. If the child needs glasses then he needs it. How is he going to succeed in school if he cannot see well!!”
“Omg. As parents, we have to teach our kids how to handle bullies. Most kids wear glasses now and don’t get bullied. I’m sorry but I’m truly for teaching kids to defend themselves. Don’t start a fight but don’t be scared to finish one.”
“I think he would be bullied more for not understanding things due to not being able to see.”
“My youngest has been in glasses since she was 3 and never been bullied over them. She had major anger issues that resolved once she could actually see. It’s far more common for kids to be wearing glasses now versus when parents were in school. At most kids may ask questions. Tell dad to get over it and do what is best for the child.”
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