Sometimes Reddit really delivers some quality goodness directly into your heart. One father posted on the relationship advice forum to ask users for advice on how he could tell his son, who he suspects is gay, that he approves. The dad, who we’ll call OP for “original poster,” wrote the sweetest post about his 20-year-old son.
The OP shared his situation and admits in the post that he struggled with substance abuse for much of his son’s early life and wasn’t there for him until his son was aged 12. He explained that his son was being mistreated by his mother and stepdad and so the OP took the steps to clean himself up and eventually was rewarded full custody of his son.
The single dad openly sings his son’s praises and writes, ‘he’s everything a man could want his son to be.’
The dad writes in the post, “He’s absolutely my pride and joy,” he wrote. “He’s everything a man could want his son to be; he’s uniquely kind and fiercely loyal, he’s unflinchingly brave, he’s incredibly generous and, despite the horrors he suffered as a child, he’s unfailingly positive and sunny to the last. I cannot stress enough my pride in him.”
Wow. What a caring and compassionate father. The post continues and describes the current situation in more detail.
The OP’s son attends college across the country from his father and after the outbreak, needed to come home and quarantine.
The dad explains that his son is happy and thriving at college and that he’d moved off campus to live with a “friend” whom he suspects is actually his son’s boyfriend.
He wrote, “I’ve strongly suspected since his early teens that my son is gay, and I now more or less have confirmation that this is true and that his ‘friend’ is actually his boyfriend.”
Because of the outbreak of the novel coronavirus students were advised to leave campus and quarantine at home. The OP’s son asked his father if his roommate could stay with them. He explained that his roommate didn’t have the best relationship with his parents and because he’s Canadian it would be even more difficult for him to return home.
When asked if his son’s roommate could stay with him as well, the OP replied ‘of course.’
The OP’s son and his roommate have lived with the OP for over a month at this point, he explained, and he’s picked up on some vibes that further confirm his suspicions.
He writes, “They think they’re being subtle I know, but I’ve caught them doing coupley things on several occasions now.”
“The ‘friend’ has slipped up a couple of times and called my son ‘babe’ and ‘sweetie’ in front of me, which I pretended not to notice for the sake of saving embarrassment,” he shared, “There have been nights where we’ll be watching a film with the lights off and, thinking I can’t see, my son will have his arm around the ‘friend.'”
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The OP is doing his best to be a good dad and respect his son’s privacy, but an incident all but proved his intuitions.
“The most solid evidence, however, came a few mornings ago. I get up very early to go for runs in the morning,” he explained. “As far as I was told, my son was sleeping in his childhood room and his “friend” was in the guest room.”
“I don’t know what possessed me to do so, but on Tuesday morning I cracked my son’s door open to check on him like I used to when he was a kid. Lo and behold, they’re both asleep, snuggled up together, in my son’s bed.”
The discovery pretty much proved that his fatherly intuition was correct.
After finding his son in bed with his ‘friend,’ the dad wants to know the best way to address the elephant in the room.
The dad asks, “How do I let my son and his boyfriend know that I’m okay with them being a couple and they don’t have to feel like they have to sneak around in my house?”
“I want them to be comfortable here and I want them to know I support them both no matter what. Or is that not a good idea? Am I better off leaving it alone and waiting until they tell me themselves, if they ever do?”
“I obviously don’t want to force either of them out of the closet, but at the same time I hate feeling as if they feel like they’re being forced into the closet in my house.”
Redditors had some thoughts on the matter and roundly praised the dad for his sensitivity.
“You’re an awesome dad,” the first comment reads. “I’m so glad you were able to clean up your life and become such an amazing father to your son. I hope he knows and sees that too.”
“I have so many things to say about this post,” another added. “First my God you are an amazing human and father to get your life together and get your kid out of a terrible situation!!! You are awesome.”
The Redditors offered their best advice to a dad who truly deserves it.
“Just reassure your son its ok and that you’ll love him no matter his sexuality,” a commenter posted. “My friends dad left his son a sticky note for him to find that just said he loves him and approves of his boyfriend because he’s such a gentleman lol.”
Another person, who is queer, shared her own experience, “My mom sent me a text that said, ‘You never have to admit anything to me that you’re not comfortable with. But if Jasmine [the commenter’s girlfriend] was ever more than a friend, I’d want to make sure she knew she was loved here too.'”
“If you like his boyfriend (it sounds like you do!) then I’d say something like, ‘I hope you know that boyfriend’s name is always welcome in our family. It’s clear he really cares about you, and having people like that in our lives is so important,'” one person commented.
The OP replies to the comment, “I do like him very much! He’s a good man, he likes rugby, he makes my boy happy and he cooks a fabulous hash brown. What more could a man want from a son in law haha.”
Can we get this dad an award?
The OP took the advice and posted an update to the post a couple of days later.
The OP took the good advice from Reddit and sat down with his son. He posted an update to let everyone know how it went. He shared what he said to his son, “‘Son, I love you very much. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but I want you and [friend] to feel comfortable being yourselves in my house and you don’t ever need to hide anything from me, alright?'”
Apparently his son burst into laughter and said, “‘Oh thank God, I reckoned you’d clicked on but didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make you feel weird.'”
The OP explained that he found out his son had had his first boyfriend in secondary school that he never even knew about. He also discovered that the reason his son’s boyfriend had a bad relationship with his parents was due to them not accepting him after he came out.
He concluded the update writing, “I’m very glad he’s happy with his partner. Thank you all again for the help!”
Yay for good dads and happy endings! We’re so glad this dad approached the entire situation with sensitivity and patience. We’re also very happy he shared so much with Redditors. What a