On May 24, an 18-year-old former student killed 19 students and two teachers in the Uvalde school shooting – one of the worst school shootings in the history of the United States. The shooting happened over the course of an hour while police were reluctant to get involved.
In the days following the shooting, Col. Steven McCraw, director of the Texas Department of Public Safety, released a statement on how the gunman was able to enter the school – citing an exterior door, which was supposed to be locked, that had been propped open by a teacher.
A few days later, McCraw was forced to retract his statement when they learned that wasn’t the case. In retrospect, the teacher did close the door, but it didn’t automatically lock behind her – which it should’ve. That teacher, Emilia ‘Amy’ Marin, is opening up to the public for the first time.
Marin was one of the first people to report the gunman to the police that fateful day. In an interview with ABC News, she opened up about the emotional and mental stress she undergoes daily as a result of the incident – adding that being falsely blamed for the incident hasn’t helped.
“I am suffering mentally, of course, emotionally. I am suffering from post-traumatic arthritis, which is very painful,” she said in the interview, adding that she often stays up at night replaying that day over in her head. “Right now, I’m lost. Sometimes I go into a dark place,” she continued.
She pointed to McCraw, explaining he doesn’t know what his words did to her – regarding the false blame. “A few weeks ago, I told my counselor ‘It would have been better if he would have shot me, too.’ because the pain is unbearable,” she said, putting everything into perspective.
Emilia Marin was a speech pathologist in the special education program at Robb Elementary School. “I will never be the person that I was before. I did die that day. I see the windows boarded up and the fence around the campus. I tell my counselor, ‘I’m in there. I’m still in there.'”
Remembering the 21 Lives Lost in the Uvalde School Shooting
Although the Department of Public Safety (DPS) originally tried to throw the blame on Emilia Marin, they quickly walked back on that statement. Instead, they turned their focus to the botched handling of the Uvalde school shooting by the police officers – who waited an entire hour before taking action.
What many people didn’t know, up until now, is what Marin DID do that day. After hearing a car crash outside, she called 911 in case someone was hurt. That’s when she heard children running and screaming for their lives and not long after, the gunshots started going off.
She was one of the first people to report the gunman as she proceeded to hide while the Uvalde school shooting continued. While on the line with police, she repeatedly asked where the help was. Unfortunately, that help wouldn’t arrive for an hour. In the meantime, 21 people lost their lives.
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“Every day they tell me, ‘You were there for a reason. God put you there for a reason.’ I want to know why. If I had gone out a few seconds later I would’ve met him outside. He would have shot me. With him shooting me, would I have saved all of them? Would I have given those teachers time to save themselves and the kids?” Marin recounted.