A mom writes in asking for advice because she’s done having kids after becoming a mom to three. However, she says her husband doesn’t want her to get her tubes tied. Now she’s wondering if her doctor will require her husband’s okay if she went through with it anyway?
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A member of the community asks:
“Moms, I need advice, please. I have three children, a 6-year-old, a 2-year-old, a 10-month-old. I’d like to get my tubes tied because I know I’m done having kids and a 10000% sure of it. But my husband is giving me a hard time about him not wanting me to. My question is, do the doctors need husbands’ okay for this? I’m in New York, if that helps… Thanks in advance.”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Whose Husband Doesn’t Want Her to Get Her Tubes Tied
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
Here’s what some members of the community said. One commenter shared, “You don’t need his permission. Just like no man needs a wife’s permission to have a vasectomy, no matter if she wants more kids or not. Your/his body your/his choice.”
Another person wrote, “In TN you don’t have to have your husband’s permission.” However, another mom added, “Sadly I believe so. When I got my tubes tied in 2018 my doctor asked me if I wanted it done, then asked my husband if he was ok with it. Then when I was having my c-section and I was under he said the doctor asked him again if he was sure it was ok.”
And one person wrote, “Explore why your husband thinks he can choose for you.”
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I live in Washington State and my ex and I had to get a Guardian Ad Litem (Guardian ad Litem (GAL) Guardian ad Litem Information. A guardian ad litem (GAL) is an individual appointed by the court to represent the best interests of a child or incapacitated person involved in a case in superior court. Information about guardians ad litem in Washington State is available by clicking the bold headings below.) Who at first saw fit to give my ex custody, then reversed the decision when she realized what a liar he was, then she helped me get custody. Long story short my ex was an abusive jerk, still is. Honestly if your state has something similar I suggest getting one. They will evaluate you and your ex and they can help you get supervised visitations because that sounds like what he needs since he acts like a child. As far as dealing with the stress get a counselor, take long hot baths and remember your kids will realize what kind of person their father is they see what you do and say and what he does and says, but remember don’t ever let them hear you say anything bad about their father, don’t play his games. No matter how much you want to call him a dirty rat turd, tell your children all the bad things about him it is just better to say nothing, or tell them you don’t want to say anything to influence their opinion.