Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy is sharing his harrowing story that ended with him needing to be saved by the United States Coast Guard.
(Warning: The below link contains language some may find offensive.)
In a video he shared on X, formerly Twitter, Portnoy revealed his mom was visiting him at his home in Nantucket when she wanted to see his boat.
So the mother and son pair prepared to head out to sea.
“Ya boys almost lost Captain Dave today,” he said to the camera, referring to himself. Portnoy explained that he had swam out to his boat to take his mom on a ride when he “unhooked it from the buoys, turned the engine on” and it was “dead.”
That’s when Dave admitted his biggest error. “Captain Dave unhooked himself from the buoy before he turned the boat on to make sure the boat wasn’t dead.”
“No power, no radio, no anchor, nothing,” Portnoy revealed as he began to drift out to sea with heavy winds. With only a flair to save him, Portnoy shoots it into the air, hoping to get some assistance as he’s dodging other boats in the harbor and steamboats in the channel honking at him.
Unfortunately, the flair didn’t save Portnoy, but a “girl on what looked like a row boat” did.
“Her radio worked,” he continued, “calls in the coast guard. The coast guard comes, four burly dudes, like ‘Hey, Dave.’”
In the end, the coast guard tied Portnoy’s boat to their vessel and brought him back to shore. “Captain Dave lives to tell another tale.”
“Third time as a captain; already lost at sea. It’s a dangerous game. The sea is angry, my friends. Captain Dave might never go on the boat again.”
The coast guard took to its own X account to respond to Portnoy’s recounting of the story, writing, “You’re welcome, Dave. Tell Miss Peaches we said hi and remember to boat safe! #SemperParatus.”
And people in the comments were quick to make a few suggestions.
“What “Captain” lets off the mooring line before starting the motor,” another added. “What does it cost the taxpayers every year to rescue rich guys who don’t know what they are doing on the water?”
“Did y’all happen to do a TikTok? We need to see it,” a fan asked.
“Dave needs to attend a boating safety course,” one commenter wrote.
Let’s see if Portnoy takes their advice.
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