A mom writes in asking for advice about what to do with her daughter, who is sick with the flu. She is conflicted about whether she should send her sick daughter to her father’s. The father thinks that their daughter should still come stay with him, and, per court order in their custody agreement, it is technically his weekend to have her. Still, this mom feels like her daughter shouldn’t go until she’s feeling better. Who’s right?
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A member of the community asks:
“Should I send my child to her dad’s while she has the flu?”
“Would you send your child to the other parent’s house if they had the flu? My daughter has been feeling unwell for the past few days and was tested positive for the flu. Her dad thinks she should still come to his house since we have a court order, and it’s his weekend. I personally don’t think she should go anywhere until she is feeling better… Am I right? Or is he?”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Who Doesn’t Want to Send Her Daughter Who Is Sick with the Flu to Her Dad’s House Even Though They Have a Custody Agreement
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Yeah, if it’s court-ordered – you have to send her. If he’s willing to care for her sick – that should be a good thing.”
“He is right. You are not. The flu is common. Denying him time when he is well aware of what care she’ll need says a lot about you. The fact that so many of you feel that she can better care for the child than the father when it should be equal makes me wonder who yall had kids with. Sick or not, stick to the order. Life happens.”
“Ask him to switch weekends with you and maybe he will agree? But ‘legally’ it is his weekend. But asking won’t hurt.”
“Of course she should. He’s a parent too. Why can’t he take care of her?”
“I guess it’s just like if she got sick at his house, would you be ok with his decision to keep her there, when it was your scheduled time with her? He has every right to see his child, sick or otherwise. Courts will not see the flu as a reason to keep her from him, she would have to be hospitalized or vomiting or the runs for not to go.”
“She is his child just as much as yours. If you two weren’t separated he would be caring for her while she’s sick too so why should it be different now? Just because parents split doesn’t mean the mother should have all the say.”
“All you people saying she would rather be sick in her own bed forget it is her own bed at her dad’s house too… he wants to be apart of her life even though she is sick let him go and be a dad. Rarely do dads want to do the sick child duties. I think give credit where it is due; he clearly wants to spend time even if it is just cuddling his sick little girl.”
“He’s dad. Capable of taking care of her. If there aren’t other kids or immune-compromised people there concerned about getting sick, send her.”
“Legally, she has to go. Personally I’d let her go anyways. If you weren’t separated, he’d be caring for her while she’s sick just like you are.”
“Maybe ask him to switch weekends with you so she can stay home until she is feeling better. Maybe even two weekends in a row just so he goes along with it. Co-parenting is all compromise!”
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