Over the past few months, Chrissy Teigen has been generously candid about her grief as she mourns the loss of her late son, Jack. This week would have been his due date and to commemorate it, the author took to social media to express her remaining pain and how it is reshaping even her happiest memories.
She shared pictures taken in Mexico where Teigen and husband John Legend traveled to film the music video for “Wild.” Fans will remember that the video was used as a platform for her to announce the happy news that they were pregnant. Now, she looks back on that happy time with such mixed emotions.
On what should have been Chrissy Teigen’s due date for her late son Jack, the mom is taking stock of her emotions.
In August, the music video for “Wild” was released along with it, the hopeful news that Teigen was pregnant. Now, instead of happiness, those emotions have been replaced with regret.
“I was 10 weeks along and out of my mind happy,” she recalled of the time in her recent Instagram post. “I knew the video would take a bit to get together so thought it would be cute to share our news with the world through the ol classic hand on belly trick at the end. I could have never imagined what would happen over the next 10 weeks.”
In September, Teigen was hospitalized after experiencing excessive, endless bleeding. Mere days later, she shared the news of the family’s devastating loss and revealed they had called the baby boy Jack.
“Not sure I’ll ever be able to watch that video again without sobbing,” Teigen said of the music video in her social media post, “but I hope he feels my tears and knows we miss him so. He would have been here any day now – if he were like Luna and Miles, I’d probably be holding him as we speak. I am so full of regret that I didn’t look at his face when he was born. I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams. I hurt every day from that remorse.”
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The Cravings writer also commented on her feelings this week and thanked her friends, family, and fans for their support.
“This month is a rough reminder and to be honest, I thought the worst was over but I guess life and emotions aren’t on any sort of schedule,” she wrote. “Love you guys to pieces and am grateful for all your support and love. I firmly believe energy and healing travels through the night sky and I feel it, I promise I do.”
The mourning mother signed off with a message for her treasured, late son. “I love you jack,” she said. “I miss you so so much.”
The star’s statement is resonating with moms around the world who have also known the heartbreak of miscarrying their child and then the grief of living through their baby’s due date.
Chrissy Teigen also tweeted about the experience and included a video of her son’s ‘phantom kicks.’
my little jack would have been born this week so I'm a bit off. I truly feel kicks in my belly, but it's not phantom. I have surgery for endometriosis tomorrow…but the period feeling this month is exactly like baby kicks. sigh.
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 3, 2021
“My little jack would have been born this week so I’m a bit off,” Teigen wrote. “I truly feel kicks in my belly, but it’s not phantom. I have surgery for endometriosis tomorrow…but the period feeling this month is exactly like baby kicks. sigh.”
look at this ???? I’ll pretend it’s him saying hi – it never stops. pic.twitter.com/5FKSE3g8cG
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) February 3, 2021
“Look at this ???? I’ll pretend it’s him saying hi – it never stops,” she added in the thread.
In reply to Teigen’s tweets, one woman wrote, “I’m with you. My baby girl Aliyah would have been born this week too. I lost her a week before you lost Jack. It’s excruciating, but you sharing your journey has helped me not feel so alone in my grief. Thinking of you, Jack, and Aliyah.”
Another person responded, “I’m so sorry Chrissy. You will never forget precious Jack. My little girl Anna Belle was stillborn in 2014, and there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think of her. At the time my friend told me: ‘one foot in front of the other, and don’t forget to breathe.’ It saved me xx.”
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Teigen is providing a huge public service by sharing her miscarriage experience with her fans. Each time she opens up about and acknowledges her beloved Jack, it lets others know that it is okay to talk about their grief and heartbreak following a miscarriage.
Miscarriage and losing a child can be one of the most alienating experience for parents and especially mothers who can physically feel that pain within their bodies. We are thankful for Teigen as she is making many others feel a sense of community and showing them that they are not alone.