Britney Spears is finally telling the truth.
In a long post to Instagram, Spears apologized to fans for pretending on social media she was happy. The post follows her earth-shattering hearing where she spoke about the ugly truths to her conservatorship that she’s been under for the past 13-years.
“I just want to tell you guys a little secret ???? … I believe as people we all want the fairy tale life and by the way I’ve posted … my life seems to look and be pretty amazing,” Britney said, explaining that a happy life is something “we all strive for,”
She admitted she learned the bad habit from her mother, Lynn Spears.
“That was one of my mother’s best traits … no matter how s-ty a day was when I was younger … for the sake of me and my siblings she always pretended like everything was okay,” Britney said.
“I don’t want people to think my life is perfect because IT’S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL,” Britney wrote. “And if you have read anything about me in the news this week ???? … you obviously really know now it’s not !!!!”
Britney added how pretending on social media actually helped.
“I apologize for pretending like I’ve been ok the past two years,” Britney said. “I did it because of my pride and I was embarrassed to share what happened to me … but honestly who doesn’t want to capture there Instagram in a fun light ????????????♀️ !!!!”
RELATED: Britney Spears Says She Doesn’t Know If She’ll Ever Perform Again, and Explains Why
“I decided to post this quote today because golly, if you’re going through hell … I feel like Instagram has helped me have a cool outlet to share my presence … existence … and to simply feel like I matter despite what I was going through and hey it worked,” she wrote.
A source revealed to PEOPLE this past Thursday that Britney had been “very nervous” to speak in front of the judge, but that she was “very grateful that she was allowed.”
“This is her life and she wants big changes,” the insider said.
Jamie’s attorney Vivian Lee Thoreen also addressed the court on Wednesday to share a statement from her client “[Jamie] is sorry to see his daughter in so much pain,” Thoreen said. “[He] loves his daughter and misses her very much.”