A husband recently asked in the sub-Reddit Am I The A**hole if he was in the wrong for asking his wife to stop dressing “like a mom” and not be so “frumpy,” after birthing their child.
In the post, the Reddit user u/Unlikely-March-3201 reveals how he believed his wife’s shift in style would be short-living as she birthed their daughter seven months ago.
“Since she gave birth back in February, the way she dresses is completely different,” he wrote. “At first I thought she was just trying to be comfortable post-birth, but now that almost seven months have passed it seems like this change is permanent.”
And while he believes his wife is still “sexy,” the new mom “just doesn’t dress sexy anymore” and her clothes nowadays are “looser.”
“Think lots of sweatshirts, sweatpants, and tent dresses,” he wrote. “Plus they cover a lot more whereas in the past she loved to tease me to get a reaction. The same is true for her underwear. Bras and panties that aren’t that nice compared to what she previously wore.”
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And while he did acknowledge he believes it is “unreasonable” to expect his wife to dress sexy for him every day, he approached her to see if she would be willing to dress up for him a few days a week and it did not go over well.
“She took it as me saying I am not attracted to her anymore,” he wrote. “She also said that how she dresses is none of my business and if I can’t be supportive not to say anything at all.”
It wasn’t just his wife who was not impressed with his comments…but also Reddit users. One user commented: “Hormones alone aren’t back to normal, let alone those parts she used to “tease” you with! They have stretch marks, they sag, they may never go back to the same firmness or appeal as before. Also, Feb? So right before the world shut down? So she hasn’t had any gym visits, social interactions with new mommy groups where she can get support, occasional spa days to get more “sexy”, or daycares for short “me” days where she can shave her legs and maybe pluck her eyebrows for the first time in what feels like forever?”
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They continued on, urging the father to consider how it will take a while to “get back to normal.”
“Also, underwear? May be TMI, but sometimes it takes a lot of time for things to “get back to normal”… So she may be wearing pantiliners on those granny panties. She doesn’t feel sexy, and you saying something just reassured her off all the doubts and insecurities she has been battling these last 7 months. I can’t even imagine where she’s at emotionally, and I have a 20 month daughter and an pregnant with number two.”
One user added: “THIS! She has had no control of her body for 16 months between a pregnancy and breastfeeding. Now AH wants to dictate her wardrobe because “tent dresses” don’t get him hot and bothered.”
What do you think? Comment below!
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