A mom writes in asking for advice about the best way she can show how grateful she is to her stepchildren (a teen and a preteen) for helping her during her pregnancy. She says she has had a complicated pregnancy, and her husband, an essential worker, can’t always be around to help her. Her two stepchildren, however, “have really stepped up to help with everything.” How can she show them she is thankful for their love and support?
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A member of the community asks:
“How can I show my husband’s kids I am thankful for them helping me with my pregnancy?
I am pregnant with my second child with my husband. Our daughter together just turned 2. My husband came with two older kids (a 15-year-old boy and an 11-year-old girl). I have been having some complications with this pregnancy, and the two big kids have really stepped up to help with everything, including cooking dinner with my guidance and doing little things to help me. My husband is an essential worker, so I can’t really be here all the time to help me. We both want to do something to show the big kids how much we value them and appreciate their helping after the baby comes. We could pay them, but honestly, that seems so impersonal to us. Any suggestions?”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Who Wants to Show Her Stepchildren She Is Grateful for Their Help During Her Pregnancy
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community offered this mom in need a lot of great advice. Read some of their responses below.
“Cash is king for teens. Maybe take them, one at a time, with your husband to a special dinner and shopping with x dollars at the store of their choosing, then do it with the other. Then they have time with both of you and a feeling of reward.”
“Happy to see a positive step-parent post. It might sound cheesy to kids, but I would write each kid a letter of praise and thanks and gift them something they have been wanting within budget and lots of hugs and I love yous.”
“Absolutely sweet of you. This post was the nicest post I’ve seen on this page in a very long time. I would do a party and give them each a gift basket. And just keep telling them you appreciate them. This is a true stepmom. They care so much and you care. A true blended family. Congrats on a beautiful family.”
“I think that is sweet and cute that they have been cooperative and helping out. It speaks volumes of your relationship together with them as a family. I would buy them each a gift card to their favorite store or app. Take them out to eat and maybe a movie it would make them feel super special.”
“Coming from a step momma of a 15-year-old, I would do something special with just them. My bonus daughter definitely loves gift cards and cash etc., but she has expressed many times she loves memories more. My bonus daughter is such a big help. Especially at my son (he is 4 years old) bday parties. We have lots of little ones running around for his bday parties and she’s always taking care of the kids. Helping them up onto the trampoline, the playset, she is incredible. We always get compliments on how helpful she is. I don’t know what we would do without her…
… Maybe have the grandparents watch the younger ones when baby comes, and have them pick a night of activities for just the parents and them. Their choice of dinner, their choice of movie and maybe an arcade. Something with just them and you guys as parents. Maybe even 2 separate nights where it’s just each of the kids so they can pick anything they want. And, kudos to you for being such an awesome step-parent and wanting to make them feel valued and that their help is very appreciated!”
“Tell them every day, multiple times a day, how much y’all appreciate them. At the end of the week, tell them that y’all would like to do something special for them to show them how much you appreciate them. Ask them to make a list of things they really want (material wise) or things/places they wanna go (within reason during the pandemic) & pick something from their list.”
“Maybe let them come up with a middle name, they would forever be honored and will always let their sibling know who named them.”
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