A mom writes in asking if she needs to let her child speak to the child’s other parent, who is currently in jail. She says the other parent didn’t play much of a role in the child’s life beforehand, and now she seems hesitant to let the parent call from jail and speak to the child.
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A member of the community asks:
“Do I have to let the other parent speak to our child from jail?
Do I have to let my child speak to the other parent when they call FROM JAIL? I have physical custody of our child. The other parent has every other weekend and every Wednesday (op hasn’t exercised visitation in over a year.)Just a 5-10 minute phone call once or twice a week. That is until op got arrested at the end of January.”
– Mamas Uncut Community Member
Community Advice for This Mom Who Doesn’t Want Her Child to Speak to a Parent Who Is Currently in Jail
To see what advice the Mamas Uncut Facebook community has for this mom in need, read the comments of the post embedded below.
Advice Summary
The community was relatively split on this topic. Read some of their responses below.
“If they have a phone system that makes you pay for a 15 min phone call then I’d say no.”
“The only person you’re hurting is your child! Wats wrong with it its 10 mins a day?”
“I would think it would depend what the arrest was for, just saying.”
“I think if the incarnated parent shows an interest in having a conversation with the child AND the child wants to speak to the incarcerated parent, then yes, do it. However, I feel like ground rules should be laid out. Does the child know the parent is in jail? Depending on the age of the child, it may be best not to mention “where daddy is” and just have a short convo. However, if the kid is older and aware, I would be open and honest with the kiddo to manage expectations of things they will hear when they are on the phone. Meaning- you hear the automated lady telling you how many minutes you have and you are sometimes cut off for no reason.”
“The answer is “no”, you don’t. But if the child WANTS to talk to him, and isn’t saying things confusing or emotionally harmful I would allow it… UNLESS you have to pay for the phone calls and don’t want to.”
“Do u want this parent to have a relationship with this child? If so then let the child have the call. If not then don’t.”
“Ask yourself if it was you in jail instead of the dad, what would you do.”
“Put your son first, stop being petty.”
“I can see both sides of this. But you’ve got to think about what’s more likely to have a detrimental effect on the child. Yes, you may be doing the right thing protecting your son from the pain and disappointment but he might actually be hanging out all week for that phone call just for 5 mins to speak to his dad. It’s hard when they’re not old enough to understand the situation. I’d facilitate it unless his father starts getting slack with the phone calls and it starts to up set your son only then I would stop it.”
“No you don’t have too. But if the child wants to then you should let him.”
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