Nothing warms you up like a good laugh! Wintertime brings with it chilly weather, short days, long nights, and unfortunately, some bleakness. Winter jokes could be the perfect antidote to some dreary weather. These jokes will be there for you long after the cheer of the holidays fades. Yes, whenever you need a little pick me up after shivering your butt off, these funny jokes have got your back.
Jokes are the perfect icebreakers and you can whip some of these winter jokes out whenever the moment calls for an injection of humor. Holiday parties, celebrations, and the like can get a bit dull but if you’ve got jokes, you are the party! We decided to take a deep dive into all things that make us laugh about this chilly time of year to bring you some truly funny jokes that you can share with your friends and family!
Have Some Frosty Fun With These Winter Jokes!
Winter Jokes About Snowmen
- What do you call a snowman on wheels? A bICICLE.
- A pretty snowwoman notices a snowman gawking at her. She says, “Listen, pal, my ice is up here.”
- What’s a snowman’s favorite type of meat? Cold cuts.
- What do you call a snowman without a carrot? Nobody nose.
- What is a snowman’s favorite game to play? Ice Spy with My Little Eye.
- Why was the snowman rummaging in a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
- Where do snowmen check the weather? The Winternet.
- What’s a snowman’s favorite beverage? Ice tea.
- Why did the snowman turn yellow? Ask the dog.
- What do you call a female snowman? A snow-ma’am.
More Winter Jokes About Snowmen
- What kind of cake do snowmen like? The kind with lots of icing.
- What does Frosty the Snowman like to put on his ice-bergers? Chilly sauce.
- How does a snowman pay his bills? With cold, hard cash.
- What did the police officer say when he caught the snowman stealing? Freeze!
- How do you scare a snowman? Two words: global warming.
- Why did Frosty go to the middle of the lake? Because snow man’s an island.
- How can you tell that a snowman’s been in your home? You will find a carrot next to the fireplace.
- Where do snowmen like to dance? At a snow ball.
- What do you call a snowman’s temper tantrum? A meltdown.
- What did the snowman have for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
Even More Winter Jokes About Snowmen
- Where do snowmen put their money? Snowbanks.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
- What is a snowman’s favorite snack? Ice Krispy Treats.
- What is Frosty the Snowman’s career? He’s in snow business.
- Who are the snowman’s parents? Mom and Pop-Sicle.
- What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
- What do you call a snowman’s pet dog? A slush-puppy.
- What do you call a snowman who plays piano? Meltin’ John.
- Has the abominable snowman called? Not Yeti.
- What did one snowman ask the other snowman? “Can you smell carrot?”
Best Winter Jokes About Snow
- What falls often at the North Pole but never gets hurt? Snow.
- What’s an ig? A snow house without a loo!
- What time is it when little white snowflakes fall past the classroom window? Snow and Tell.
- What is a mountain’s favorite type of candy? Snowcaps!
- Granny’s been staring through the window since it started to snow… If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
- Today isn’t the day to be cracking jokes about the weather. It’s snow joke.
- If the sun’s shining while it snows, what should you look for? Snowbows.
- Why did the baker only wear one boot to town? He heard there was a 50 percent chance of snow!
- How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for Fresh Prints!
- What kind of ball doesn’t bounce? A snowball.
More Winter Jokes About Snow
- What’s a good winter tip? Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
- What kind of androids do you find in the Arctic? Snobots!
- What’s white and goes up? A confused snowflake.
- How do mountains stay warm? Snowcaps.
- Which kids wear the biggest snow boots? The ones with the biggest feet!
- What did the icy road say to the truck? Want to go for a spin?
- What video game do they play in igloos? Snow Fortnite.
- What is a skier’s favorite type of candy? Snowcaps.
- What falls in the winter but never gets hurt? Snow.
- What’s the best part about class during the winter? Snow and tell.
Winter Jokes About Ice
- Why should you experiment with thin ice? Because it’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Icy. Icy who? Icy you!
- What is Batman’s favorite winter food? Just-ice!
- Why is slippery ice like music? Because if you don’t C sharp, you’ll B flat!
- Where do you go to learn about the history of ice cream? Sundae School.
- What is Frosty the Snowman’s favorite mode of transportation? A tr-ICE-cycle.
- How do you get ice to melt faster? Talk to it and get into a heated argument!
- What did the snowflake say to the road? Let’s stick together.
- What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!
- Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink? The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
More Winter Jokes About Ice
- What do you call a cat on ice? One cool cat!
- How do Eskimos make their beds? With sheets of ice and blankets of snow!
- What did the man say when he slipped and fell on ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
- Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice!
- What is the best meal to eat in an igloo? Brr-eakfast!
- What do you do if your ice house falls apart? Igloo it back together!
- I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious on the ice today… Well, I’m guessing she was poor. She only had $1.00 in her purse.
- After six months of winter, all the snow finally melted. Noice!
- Why do Eskimos build so many igloos? Because they love to ice-o-late themselves.
- Did you hear about the adventurous snowman? He had quite the ice-capade.
Winter Jokes About Penguins
- What do you call a cold penguin? A brrr-d.
- What is a penguin’s favorite family member? Aunt Artica!
- Why are penguins good race car drivers? They are always in pole position.
- What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost!
- How do penguins drink their Coca-Cola? On the rocks.
- What is a penguin’s favorite Mexican food? Brrrrrr-itos.
- What do penguins sing on a birthday? “Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.”
- How does a penguin build a LEGO house? Igloos it together!
- What is a penguin’s favorite movie? Frozen.
- Why do penguins always carry fish in their beaks? They don’t have any pockets!
More Winter Jokes About Animals
- What are caribou calves given to wear? Hoof-me-downs.
- What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? Owlgebra.
- If a reindeer lost his tail, where would you go to buy him a new one? A retail store.
- Why aren’t penguins as lucky as Arctic murres? The poor old penguins can’t go south for the winter.
- What’s the best kind of dog to get for the holidays? A pointsetter!
- What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost!
- What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain? A drizzly bear.
- What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? Shear madness.
- Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it’s too far to walk.
- What happens when a moose gets cold? She gets the moose bumps.
Winter Jokes About Being Cold
- It’s cold that… the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
- It’s cold that… people started chipping their teeth on soup!
- It’s cold that… when the cows get milked, ice cream comes out.
- It’s cold that… I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
- It’s cold that… people look forward to getting a fever.
- It’s cold that… lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
- It’s cold that… you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
- It’s cold that… Starbucks started serving their coffee on a stick.
- It’s cold that… trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
- It’s cold that… we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside to keep warm.
Winter Jokes About the Arctic
- Global warming is a joke… even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.
- How dot hey get coffee to the arctic? The Polar Espresso.
- Do you know why the researchers have to take a ship to explore the Arctic circle? Because there’s Norway beyond Scandinavia.
- I told my parents that I’m planning to move to the Arctic circle for work, and they seemed really upset. My dad said, “I don’t like your latitude.”
- What did the detective in the Arctic ask the suspect? Where were you the night of September to March?
- Why is Antarctica sad? Because it’s ice-o-lated.
- Some people think that the Arctic and the Antarctic are the same… But, in fact, they’re polar opposites.
- What do you call an arctic rabbit? A polar hare.
- Have you ever been to an arctic graveyard? It’s chilling.
- What does an arctic wildlife photographer get from sitting around too long? Polaroids.
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Keep Reading for More Hilarious Winter Jokes!
More Winter Jokes About the Arctic
- You know I’ve always liked the arctic? There’s always been something cool about it.
- What do you call a Sailor’s hitch in the arctic? Knot cool.
- What’s the best profession to have for dating? Arctic sailing. You get good with icebreakers.
- Have you heard about the place way up North where birds stop flying North and start flying south? It’s where they make Arctic Terns.
- Two of my mom’s sisters moved to the Alaskan wilderness. Now it’s a double aunt tundra.
- Where do antarctic birds spend their nights? In pengu-inns.
- Some people think that the Arctic and the Antarctic are the same… But, in fact, they’re polar opposites.
- Why was the polar bear relaxed when watching TV? He found a cool channel.
- What do you call a duck inside a glacier? A quack in the ice.
- What do you call someone who steals a glacier? An iceberglar.
Winter Jokes About Mountains
- Why are climbers always depressed when they reach the top of the mountain? Because it’s all downhill from there.
- What did the Mountaineer name his son? Cliff.
- Why are mountains so good at listening? Because of all the mountaineers.
- Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
- I sold my cabin out in the mountains to Sasquatch. He paid in cryptid currency.
- Why are mountains always tired? Because they don’t Everest.
- Sometimes I forget how beautiful the mountains are… I really take them for granite.
- How do mountains see? They peak.
- What is blue and white and can’t climb a mountain? A fridge wearing a denim jacket.
- What mountain is just smaller than Mount Everest? Mount Everer.
Winter Jokes About Skiing
- I was passing gym class with flying colors until we got to the skiing unit. It was downhill from there.
- Did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and leg in a skiing accident? He ended up being all right.
- I think skiing is rather suspicious… It’s I’s are too close together.
- Somebody asked me recently why I took up downhill skiing. I explained that uphill skiing is far too difficult.
- I once killed an adult male Grizzly bear on a ski trip in Alaska with a small serrated knife. I had no idea grizzlies could ski or where the bear got the knife.
- What does a blind snowman use to ski? A skiing eye dog.
- The guy running the ski-lift said it would be $50 to get to the top of the mountain… I said, “that’s a bit steep.” He said, “exactly.”
- I recently got very addicted to skiing. My doctor told me I’m going down a slippery slope.
- Liam Neeson never snowboards. He has a very specific set of skis.
- I went skiing yesterday. It was fun but I broke arm. I guess skiing has its downsides.
Winter Jokes About Ice Skating
- I once tried ice skating on a lake, but I fell in. Nobody helped me either, they just laughed as I panicked… It was the worst summer vacation ever.
- I took my psychic girlfriend ice skating but she fell through the ice. Luckily, Claire’s buoyant.
- I want to get into ice skating but… I keep getting cold feet.
- Which figure skater can jump higher than the judges’ table? All of them. Tables can’t jump.
- Why is Cinderella such a bad figure skater? She always loses a skate.
- What do a bad figure skater and the Titanic have in common? They both look great until they hit ice.
- Why was there a pig at the figure skating competition? He drove the HAMbony.
- What do you call a monkey who wins the gold medal in Olympic figure skating? A chimpion.
- What do figure skaters do when they meet someone new? They say something to break the ice.
- Why was the figure skater’s barbecue such a success? She didn’t over-rotate the chicken.
Winter Jokes About Sledding
- My Alaskan sled dog was barking but no sound came out… It turns out he’s a mala-mute.
- Sled prices are too damn high… but you can find a good deal if you’re willing toboggan.
- Have you heard that new dog sled team from Canada that formed a rock band? They’re called Mush.
- When Santa fell off the sled and broke his leg, he knew he would be well looked after… You see, he had good elfcare.
- Why is life like a dog sled team? If you’re not the lead dog, the view is always the same.
- I haven’t seen many kids sledding this winter… Everything’s really gone downhill.
- When I was kid, and we’d go sledding on a cold snowy day, do you know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm? Intermittenly.
- What is Santa’s favorite band? Sled Zeppelin
- What does a cow say to its sled dogs? Mooosh!
- Why did the sled dog puppy shop in the Big & Tall store? He was a little husky.
Winter Jokes About Sleighs (and Santa)
- Why does Santa always keep a Baseball bat in his sleigh? For Claus combat.
- Who does Santa listen to when he’s out riding in his sleigh? Elfis Presently.
- How much does it cost Santa to ride his sleigh around the world? Eight bucks, unless the weather is bad, then it’s nine bucks.
- What is it called when Santa runs down someone with his sleigh? A ho-ho-homicide.
- Why did Santa put his sleigh in reverse in mid-air? He wanted to back it up to the cloud.
- I went bob-sleighing yesterday… Killed 200 bobs.
- What part of the sleigh did Santa leave behind while he was passing through Africa? He left the reigns down in Africa.
- Why did the police search Santas sleigh? Because they had probable Claus.
- Why did Yoda turn Santa’s sleigh around? Because he always reverses clauses.
- What’s the difference between Santa Clause and a knight? One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh!
More Winter Jokes About Sleighing (and Santa)
- What is Santa’s favorite metal band? Sleigh-er.
- What does Buffy sing at Christmas? A sleighing song.
- What does Santa do to people who try to stop him? He sleighs them.
- What is Santa’s favorite Las Vegas attraction? Cirque du Sleigh.
- What does Santa do with a lazy reindeer? He rides with the remaindeer.
- What will happen when the Earth’s magnetic poles flip? Santa’s been interviewing penguins to see if they can pull a sleigh.
- What did Rudolph the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine? This will sleigh you.
- Why doesn’t Santa have to pay to park his sleigh? It’s always on the house.
- What did Santa say right before his sleigh hit a tree? No-no-no!
- Where do Santa’s reindeer stop for ice cream on Christmas Eve? Deery Queen.
Winter Jokes About Reindeer
- What is a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer? Comet.
- Who is the loneliness Reindeer on their birthday? You’re probably thinking Rudolph, but, let’s just say no one wants to go to Donner party.
- What do you call a reindeer on Halloween? A cariboo.
- What is the purpose of reindeer? It makes the grass grow.
- How do reindeer fly? They use their mistletoes.
- I don’t understand how one of the most widespread traditions in America is about flying reindeer from the north pole… It’s just not clausible.
- Why doesn’t Santa use reindeer milk in his coffee? He likes non-deery creamer.
- Who is the reindeers’ favorite celebrity? Beyonsleigh.
- Do you know what animal comes from the sky? Reindeer.
- What do reindeer have that other animals don’t have? Baby reindeer.
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Somewhat Naughty Winter Jokes for Adults
- Why was the snowman so brave? Because he had big snowballs.
- How did the snowman lose his head? Someone sat on his face.
- Why did the snowman’s daughter become a stripper? Because he was so cold to her.
- Why did the lady snowman divorce her husband? She found out he was going to a snowblower.
- What did Santa say to his wife when she gave him a private dance? Make it reindeer!
- Why are we only concerned about snowmen, not snowwomen? Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
- The neighbors built a snow sculpture of a dismembered person, complete with red food coloring… It was an abominable snowman.
- Why are friends a lot like snow? Because if you keep peeing on them, they will eventually disappear.
- Just tried to de-snow my car with a loyalty card… I only got 10% off.
- I’ve got a unicycle that’s great in the snow… It has all-wheel drive.
There you go! Aren’t these winter jokes brrrr-illiant? We hope you saw some that made you chuckle and that you’ll share these snowy winter jokes with your family friends. Jokes are great icebreakers and with these specifically about winter, they are perfect for holiday gatherings and celebrations. Who doesn’t love silly winter jokes!
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