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QUESTION: I am no longer attracted to my boyfriend due to weight gain. Advice?
“I need advice about my boyfriend. So I’ve been with my boyfriend for about four years now. When we first met, he was very into working out and taking care of himself. About two years ago, he let himself go and gained about 60+ pounds and doesn’t care about taking care of himself. We used to have a lot of good sex, but the past year, there has been very little to none.
When we do have sex, we aren’t into it and pretty much have given up on the idea. When I lay down at night, I still want to, but I’m having a hard time getting turned on by him. I want to be with someone who will give me my needs, so my question is… if things don’t get better, is it worth leaving him?”
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Community Answers
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
“Maybe see if y’all can join a gym together and get couples counseling. He may not realize the weight increase but somethings going on.”
“I’m not trying to be harsh, but what you had sounds more like LUST and not love. I’ve been with my man going on 13 years. Neither one of us are as young as when we met, life happened, kids happened, we’ve both put on weight, but he still turns me on. We’re still attracted and love each other because we went through these life changes together. Looks don’t last forever, so if your wanting someone that gonna be in shape their entire life, all I can say is good luck.”
“If you loved him it would not be about his appearance. Everyone changes physically at some point. You can’t expect any man to be buff and fit for the rest of his life. What do you look like? Are you perfect and fit? Probably not. Let him find someone that will love him unconditionally.”
“Support him, workout with him if weight’s that important to you.”
“This is heartbreaking! Bless him! I would check in on him and possibly see if something is wrong such as depression or maybe some kind of health issues. If you speak to him about his weight gain, please use a better selection of words. I feel bad for him and I don’t even know him.”
“Men say this about women all the time. It doesn’t make it right nor okay. You guys are a team. You could change up your nutrition at home or when together so the weight loss is a team effort for your relationship. You could do the gym or walks together. It would benefit you both in growth individually as well as sexually. If this isn’t something your willing to do for him or y’all, then it’s just not it. Something so minor that can be corrected should be more of a reason to push for it than to give up.”
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