If you’re a mom then you know just how amazing and sometimes hilarious having a baby really is.

We have collected our favorite memes below paired with the funniest things kids have said and done — because, those darn kids say the darndest things!

“My wife took our three-year-old daughter to the toilet on an airplane… after holding it for a long time. As she sat there she had the most satisfied smile on her face. Wife asked, ‘Are you happy?’ My daughter sighed and replied, ‘Mommy. I’m peeing in the sky.’ Since then in our household ‘peeing in the sky’ has meant ‘very happy.'”

“I hate the beep of the microwave, so i always stop the microwave at 7. I never notice i just do it, a few weeks ago a waiter asked my son how he wanted his steak and he replied I like it stopped at 7.”

“Walked into the living to find my daughter chilling on the couch in her underwear, with one pair of yellow rubber cleaning gloves on her hands, and another pair on her feet.”

“My wife and I take turns changing our daughter and she’s in her early twos so she’s old and articulate enough to notice this pattern and comment on it. So we’re sitting in the living room and she looks me dead in the face, grimaces, and says ‘I pooped! Daddy’s turn!’ Followed shortly by walking over, gently patting my knee as if to reassure me before adding ‘It’s a big one daddy.’ In a matter-of-fact tone. My wife just about died laughing.”

“She has a puzzle with musical instruments on it, and she’ll put the xylophone piece up to her ear and babble like she’s talking on the phone. Because… xylo-phone.”

“My husband let out a big fart earlier today, and my two-year-old daughter went to look in his boxers, saying, ‘hmm, let me check it..'”

“Our daughter (about 4 years old): ‘Mummy, I REALLY love you!’

My wife: ‘Thanks sweetie, you should say that to daddy too’

Daughter (to me): ‘Daddy, I REALLY love mummy!'”

“One night after bath my daughter (4YO at the time) was exhausted and was being uncooperative. I was trying to get her to put her underwear on, she’s fighting it, and then grabs her crotch and yells at me ‘what is this thing even for, anyway!’ I lost it and got her more upset.”

“When my boy was around 1.5 I got him out of the tub and dried him off. He started walking toward the living room instead of the bedroom so I told him ‘wrong way!’ and he thought this was the funniest thing ever. Every bath after that for 6 months he would climb out of the tub, run naked for the living room and yell ‘Wrong way!! Wrong way!!’ while laughing.”

“When my oldest was about six she came home from school and told us all about her prostitute teacher. No amount of convincing or explaining to her would ever change it was a prostitute teacher in her mind not a substitute teacher.”

“My son has Aspergers, so in a lot of his conversations are kind of stunted and lack tact. He and his sister were going to go visit my parents for a week and before they left my mother-in-law asked him if he would miss her when he was in Chicago. His response: ‘I can’t predict the future.'”

“My son, around 3, came running in crying. He was sobbing and couldn’t talk. I lifted him onto the counter and tried to calm him but he was almost hyperventilating. I finally said ‘spit it out.’ He stops crying, gets a weird look, then spits in my face.”

“My baby sister, who was 4 at the time, was asked what shape her room was in. She replies, ‘I think it’s a square, isn’t it?'”

“When my son was a year and a half, I was sweeping and I left a pile of dirt. I saw him walking towards it so I told him to watch the dirt. He just stared at it.”

“I don’t know about the most funny, but this happened yesterday so…We’d gone on a really long walk and for the last couple of minutes walk back I was carrying my daughter and she was clearly almost nodding off. So I said to my wife, ‘I think someone needs a nap when we get back.’
To which my daughter replied, ‘Yeah, me too!'”

“My daughter used to call things horitating. Like a mixture of horrible and irritating.”

“My son got annoyed with a history lesson being in his geography book and said ‘they should have called it histography!'”

“When my daughter was 4 she went with her pre-school to see the nutcracker. Soon after, my family came to visit for the holidays. My daughter was playing with a toy sword and walked by my sister as she dropped something in the kitchen. Seeing an opportunity, my daughter shoved the toy sword down my sister’s backside and shouted ‘you are the buttcracker!’

“When my daughter, Tess, was 2 years old we went to a family restaurant for some occasion. She would stand up in her seat and it would tickle behind her knee to get her to sit down. Well, one time she had enough and screamed: ‘Stop Daddy, no Tess tickle! No TESS TICKLE!'”

“My 3yo would go to church with grandma every now and then. On the ride home they were chatting and my mom asked him if he had learned about Jesus Christ. He then shouted ‘yes’ and in his best imitation of me and the SO, he angrily shouts ‘Jesus Christ?!! What is this?!’ My mom could hardly tell us she was laugh/crying so hard. And it was true, that is what we taught him.”

“When my daughter was 3ish. I was playing with her in our backyard. At one point I start juggling a couple of her balls that she plays with. This started to annoy her and she yelled out quite loudly ‘DADDY!! STOP JIGGLING YOUR BALLS!!'”

“I had just got done playing with my 2-year-old. She went into her bedroom and I decided to play a little playstation. She would come out and ask me if I wanted a sticker. Yeah sure hunny. After about the 5th sticker I decided to actually pay attention to her. Must be her mom forgot to put her panty liners away before she went to work. I had them all over me. The dogs had a nice warm coat of pads. She was happy as could be.”

“When my daughter was about 3, she got into an argument with a boy her age, and I heard her yell at him ‘Shut up!!!’ I reprimanded her and told her that she needs to use nice words. Without hesitating, she turned to the boy and said ‘Please shut up!'”

“OK Google, what time is bedtime -2yo.”

About Mamas Uncut

Mamas Uncut is THE online place for moms. We cover the latest about motherhood, parenting, and entertainment as well – all with a mom-focused twist. So if you're looking for parenting advice from real parents, we have plenty of it, all for moms from moms, and also experts. Because, at the end of the day, our mission is focused solely on empowering moms and moms-to-be with the knowledge and answers they’re looking for in one safe space.

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